And it is DONE…

 

In so many ways things are done around here, and I am glad. 

 

There is so much RELIEF to having things settled and worked out. There is a certain SATISFACTION to having an idea of what will happen in the future, even though it isn’t SET in stone (as the future never is) and there is still some uncertainty and grinding concerns… but there is a plan of action…

 

A settlement.

 

I spent the ENTIRE day in a large-ish board room, trapped with STBX, my lawyer and HIS lawyer, discussing the 4 parts of our settlement. I thought we’d go in, he’d balk right away, and we’d be out of there (and I’d be back at work) by 1pm.

 

Nope.

 

Our lawyers forced us to sit and talk it all out. Which is likely good (the NEXT step, dear Gods, was that if we didn’t agree on one or more area was to proceed to the court process… pretrial hearing with a judge  then a trial, at hugely expensive costs and frustratingly long waiting times between anything AND more and more and more legal fees!!!) but frustrating in that I really didn’t want to hang out in a lawyer’s office ALL DAY.

 

But… agreements were reached in all four areas we needed to agree on. Yay!

 

Agreements!

 

1. Parenting Agreement: This was a serious no-brainer for both of us. We agreed that the time with the children would be divided 50% by both parents, and that at this time the arrangement was a 2 week rotation (but that it wasn’t necessarily forced into STAYING this way, because things might work out better a different way). All holidays (Christmas, Thanksgiving, February Break, Easter Break and Summer School Break) will be divided equally. Both parents agree to review and sign necessary documentation for passports for the children, and to not unnecessarily deny ability to travel for the children. Joint custody (in that all major decisions — religion, schooling, medical care, environment, social activities) will be maintained. 

 

2. Property Agreement :

 

3. Child support: Will be re-assessed for our 2009 incomes (he recieved a YEAR severance AND a bonus, so he will have made MORE for 2009 than in 2008, I have an expected income for 2009 which is a bit higher than my expected for 2008) and I will be informed by his counsel what amounts we are both responsible for (we have an offset — basically we take my amount out of his amount and he pays me the remainder, half on the 1st, the other half on the 15th) and also how much he will pay me for the daycare for the kids. We also agreed that the amount of overage on our liquid assets (I had $900 more on my balance than he did) and a cash payment to me dissolved the retroactive child support outstanding. We will reassess the amounts June of every year starting 2010 OR if a significant change occurs.

 

4. Spousal support: STBX will continue to pay on my car and student loans as spousal support until the house sells… if the house doesn’t sell we’ll be in such a financial mess that I don’t know what will happen. That will be 2 years at $780/mth for spousal… which is enough.

 

So it is pretty much done. They will write up the orders AND the paperwork for the dissolution of marriage (divorce) paperwork…

 

 

I might be divorced in 2 months!! Hooray! I will get a certificate and EVERYTHING.

 

Which means:

 

It also means that Stalker would have nothing to try and BLACKMAIL me with…