Frozen Nowhere

Right now I am feeling the “its not you, its me” thing.
 
Its not that I don’t like RGG, hell… I love the boy. And I mean the weird mooshy-gooshy romantic sort of love, not the “you’re my friend and I love you, man” sorta love.
 
But I find myself a bit… scared right now.
 
You see… I want to spend time with him. A lot of time. Hell… I would like to go to bed with him every night, and wake up with him every morning. I would like to cook for him and clean up after him. I would like to fight with him and make up with him…
 
I am, quite frankly, twitterpated.

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Review of last week…
 
As I have mentioned, I took a bit of a hiatus because I have been having periods of time where I am experiencing shooting pains in my wrists. This reason, amoung others, was part of the reason I decided that for the first time in 18 months of working for my current employer, I would actually USE some of my allotted vacation time. (the other reasons being that my kids were off for the week and RGG and his kids were off for the week, and I thought it would be good for him and I and all of us to spend time together)…
 
So… yeah, not much writing and my wrists are feeling so much better. 
 
I think its the

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Okay… so I didn’t manage to write all that much last week, which was likely good because by the friday before I went on “vacation” I started to have shooting pains in my right wrist whenever I typed. 

And you know, when typing and writing are so vitally important to you, that kinda sucks. So for the most part I did not do any writing this week. 

Instead I spent MOST of the week with RGG and all the kids.

And you know? I’m STILL not sure with him.

I mean, I love him, and I am attracted to him and I feel really good about things with him. For the most part I haven’t tried to do a

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Exactly the situation that I find myself in, right now, asking “where am I? where am I going? where does that leave me now?”…
 
I have decided that for the time being I am going to sit back and just take the time to think about what I want and where I am heading on my Path. I have to do this, because the past few years have really led me to reconsider the words I use in relation to myself, and the way I view myself.
 
Because of the climate that I have discovered in the “new” Pagan community that I resurfaced into, I no longer feel that I am allowed to claim the title “Wiccan”

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Right now I consider myself a “Seeker” in the Pagan community. 
 
This, in and of itself, causes me to feel a great deal of “disconnection”, spiritually. Not necessarily because I do not consider the label valid, but more because the label underlines different issues at work within the Pagan community and my place within said community.
 
For those of you who might be followers of various Pagan based blogs and podcasts, there was a bit of furor around the recent announcement by “famous” podcasters Deo and Mandy of Deo’s Shadows that they were leaving the Pagan community and have become Atheists. This one event, more than any other I have seen previously, had the effect of getting Pagans talking about the community and what is community and what makes one a part/member of a

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