Feb 18
Exactly the situation that I find myself in, right now, asking “where am I? where am I going? where does that leave me now?”…
I have decided that for the time being I am going to sit back and just take the time to think about what I want and where I am heading on my Path. I have to do this, because the past few years have really led me to reconsider the words I use in relation to myself, and the way I view myself.
Because of the climate that I have discovered in the “new” Pagan community that I resurfaced into, I no longer feel that I am allowed to claim the title “Wiccan” for the practices that I have followed in the past. It seems that the term “Wiccan” has been fully and completely “reclaimed” by those of the British Traditions (Gardinarian, Alexandrian),and once more the pendulum swings back to the “you don’t have training, you don’t have tradition, you don’t have initiaiton, you aren’t one of us” type thing.
And you know what?
I do NOT have formal coven training. That is true.
I do NOT have a formal British tradition passed down to me. That is true.
I am NOT formally inititated. That is also true.
I am NOT formally inititated. That is also true.
But the “Us vs. YOU ALL” type attitude does a vast disservice, in my opinion, to those of us on the Pagan Path who do follow a more Wiccan type tradition, be it ecclectic or british formal trad, faery, dianic, radical, reclaiming… what have you, rather than a more open and ecclectic “Paganism”.
It causes a sense of disconnect, a sense of hierarchical structure in the ranks that make me feel the “this is not for me, its only for THEM” and a feeling of this is not what I thought it was, what called to me in the beginning.
The fact of the matter is that although I am not formally trained in a recognized britsh trad, not even really in an area of the country (or continent) where there are many brit-trad covens to begin with, I still follow many of the “Wiccan” rituals and guidelines rather than the more ecclectic Pagan ones. I might not have a true initiation, I may not really have been able to learn the “deeper mysteries” that are only available in a brit-trad coven setting…
But I still chafe at the idea of being “just” a Pagan.
And yet…
Maybe I AM just an Ecclectic Pagan, after all?
I need to determine WHY I have so much resistance to the term “Pagan” rather than “Wiccan” when it comes to my particular path. I really think that it has a lot to do with the way I see myself, and the way I view the various terms and meanings.
Pagans
Its not that I don’t see myself as PAGAN, its that I see the Paganism as a more broadly defined term. In the same way that there are Christians (broad term) who are also Lutherans (specific denomination), or Jews (broad term) who are Hassidic (specific group), I have always narrowed my terminology down from Pagan (broad) to Ecclectic Wiccan (specific variety).
Maybe its a conceptual thing.
To me “Pagan” is the umbrella term for people who may have similar interests and beliefs as I do — they may or may not be polytheistic (as I am), they may or may not celebrate the seasons (as I do), they may or may not have altars (I do not yet) or preform rites (I do), they may or may not cast spells (I do), they may or may not revere nature or mark the changes and passages of time. We may have things in common, but we do not necessarily share a framework in which we can practice together.
Wiccans
I do not deny that Wicca was started as a British Tradition and a term used for the members of that tradition. I do not deny that many groups that use the term are what would be defined as “Mystery” religion, the specific mysteries of which you are only able to get from being involved with those who know the mysteries. But I do not see “Wicca” as ONLY being a traditional based, coven led, mystery religion either.
I see “Wicca” as more of a set of guidelines for practices – the correspondences for the directions, the altar tools, the seasonal celebrations, circle casting, ritual formats, spellwork guidelines, and the basic underlying structures. Not every Pagan group follows the Wiccan Rede, not all use the Charge of the Goddess, not all of them cast circles, not all celebrate the Sabbats.
To me, THESE, rather than lineage, are the determiners of the label “Wiccan” for a certain Spritual Path.
I am what I am.
The problem is that people want to use terms to define themselves and others around them, and there is often a very subjective meaning in terms.
In my view I am a Wiccan — I may not have been formally “trained” in the high rituals of a coven group, I may not have gone through a formal initiation, but I follow basic Wiccan teachings, although I am ecclectic Celtic and not High-Brit-Trad.
To a Brit-Trad or Traditionalist Wiccan, I am NOT “of the Wicca” because to be considered “of the Wicca” I would have to:
- be involved in British Traditionalist Witchcraft such as Gardinarian or Alexandrian or a spin off from one of those
- be able to trace the high priest and priestess back to someone who were originally intiated by someone who was inititated by someone who was initiated by Gardner
- go through the dedicant and initiation phases
- be part of a coven that is recognized by them
Maybe my problem isn’t the definition, but the OPINION…
At the end of the day, does it HURT the Brit-Trads when someone outside of their circle (laugh) calls themselves “Wiccan”? I don’t think so, but maybe THEY do. To me the fact that they are trying to co-opt the title “Wiccan” is like the Pentacostals trying to keep the label “Christian” to themselves and away from anyone outside of their churches.
Its true that they may not like it. After all, it spoils their sense of being special.
So what’s my point?
Well… really, just to determine if I CARE, really, what someone of the Brit-Trad Society THINKS of me calling myself Wiccan. Does their protestations of the use of the term outside of their covens and circles of influence REALLY matter to those OUTSIDE of their circles of influence?
In the end… ? Not really.
Which comes to the point that I had…
When I cannot connect to the concept of myself as a generalist Pagan, wandering the world in search of meanings, Seeking out the mysteries and picking and choosing what it is that I will incorporate into my spiritual path, then maybe there is validity to the labels and terms.
The term “Celtic Wiccan” has been a huge part of my identity, so much so that I have been struggling, this past year, with the fact that people I have respected have stated that I am not qualified to call myself Wiccan — of any variety.
Where I am, where I am from, and where I am headed, were thrown into question because I had NO RIGHT to feel connected to Wicca as I wasn’t an dedicant or initiate from one of the brit-trads or brit-trad-spinoffs who were allowed to use the term. I couldn’t point to any formal teaching in the mysteries, because I have no access to formal teachings… and my experiences are not validation without the lineages of the brit-trad groups who have the moral and spiritual rights to call themselves Wiccan.
And you know what?
BULLSHIT.
Seriously. Bullshit.
I left this kind of pettiness behind when I left Christianity, or at least I intended to. I left the idea that in order to call yourself a Christian you had to jump through these hoops and contribute to these causes and volunteer for these organizations and only talk to these kinds of people and only do business with other validated Christians… and on and on. BULL. SHIT.
I don’t want that for my spirituality NOW, anymore than I wanted it then.
I am foregoing the belief that in order to call myself a Wiccan, I have to go through certain rituals and rights from the RIGHT PEOPLE. I don’t have the right people. I don’t have ANY people. I have myself. I have the small voice in my soul that tells me, in its subtle ways, which ways to go. I have the deep peace, the small electric fizzles that make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, I have the whirling excitement, I have the feeling that this is MAGICKAL when something IS magickal….
I am an ECCLECTIC Wiccan.
There. I said it.
I am no less a Wiccan, in my own mind, than someone who is in a coven, although I will acknowledge that coven work offers more teaching and learning experiences, as well as a sense of shared work and community than solitary work does. But coven working is not the ONLY way to be Wiccan.
I am no less Wiccan for not having one formal teacher. I am fluid in that I learn and grow from various sources –books, people, conversations, meditations, trial an error…
I am no less Wiccan for the fact that I don’t have the formal introduction to the Wiccan Mysteries. I know that when I get to the point where I can seek these out I will find them. I know that when I can find a coven group and feel right dedicating myself to that work I will find the experience powerful. But the power I have felt in my own experiences is no less valid for the lack of formal tradition.
- I am no less Wiccan for being solitary.
- I am no less Wiccan for having no name for my Tradition
- I am no less Wiccan for not being initiated
- I am no less Wiccan for following my own heart and soul.
And I will no longer allow those who feel to be Wiccan I need to be something specific and traditional and validated to tell me that I cannot use the term.
I am Wiccan. The term is a connection of the soul I need to reconnect my mind to my spirituality…
And I am RECLAIMING it…
But if you claim this term that the stuffy-fussy people are pooping on to mark their territory, do you worry that you then become mistaken for one of the stuff-fussy people who poop on labels to mark their territory?