Mar 13
So… I’m gonna update everyone (yay!) and see where this goes. Because writing, at least for me, seems to be more a process of talking to and discovering myself than really imparting ANY sort of information or interesting tidbit about anything that has anything to do with me…
Just so you are aware… really…
Anyway…
As I have been musing about lately, I am in the middle of a bit of an upheaval right now. The house that I bought with theEx sold and theEx has to move all his (and my) stuff out in the next 2 weeks while I have the kids.
This has caused some trouble for me.
I have to move out the furniture that he is required to give me back. TheEx wanted me to let HIS movers do it (at a cost to me of about $350 for 2 hours work), I wanted to find a cheaper way to do it. I’m worried that I won’t be able to fit the couch into the apartment and that theEx would then TAKE it back and leave me without.
It’s a distinct possibility, given the state of his assholery lately.
And knowing very well that I can’t afford to get new furniture to replace everything that he has kept doesn’t help the feeling of quiet desperation that I have when I think of that couch NOT fitting down the stairs or into the living room.
My other moving option, is to rent a Uhaul myself and see if I can rustle up a few helpers to drag the damned furniture from theEx’s living room into the Uhaul, drive the Uhaul to my apartment, and drag all the furniture through the backyard, down the stairs and into my living room. This option would likely cost me around $150, which is way less than the $350 theEx wants to charge me for 2-3 hours of time for his movers (at $60-80/hr — I don’t know why he’s quoting me at $350 when I would get $160-240 for that amount of time).
The problem is that the only helper I could get would be RGG. I have asked all the guys at work, and they don’t really want to do it (even for pizza and beer… I mean, really, its 30 mins of work!! all told, and driving things, but they don’t want to do it), and I can’t see how RGG and I alone can move things that are that heavy, especially with a min of 2 kids (maybe up to 4 of them) underfoot while we do it.
I might just bite the bullet and accept that I have to pay theEx to get my stuff (and hope that his movers can get my stuff in).
But this weekend I am working on REARRANGING the living room.
After all I have to fit in the couch and now 2 loveseats AND 2 additional livingroom tables (coffee table and end table)
And rearranging my living room has spilled over into rearranging my bedroom (which thankfully is pretty empty)…
But moreso it will mean rearranging the way I do things.
My laptop will be going into my bedroom and out of the living room. That will mean a change it the way that I deal with my time when I am alone. Instead of hiding out online all the time, I will be freeing myself up to spending time in my living room. I am hoping I get more of my hobbies done — needlework, scrapbooking, knitting, writting. But it will also mean that my living room will once more be the social hub of my home.
And I want better tv programming to facilitate the movement of the socialness from the bedrooms to the living room area.
Which means I need to ask my landlords if I am allowed to have satellite.
I am afraid to ask.
I realize the worst that they can say is “no“… and then I am stuck with the sucktacular situation that I am in now, with the barest minimum of channels that sometimes come in, where I can’t reliably catch most tv shows I like because sometimes the channel fuzzes out on me or I can’t stand the flickering on some channels, or I just don’t have the option to watch things at a time when I have TIME (ie, after the kids are in bed) the way I could when I had satellite.
But I am willing to pay for it on my own. I don’t really WANT to share with the upstairs neighbors to split the bill and the access (since I don’t really KNOW them it seems problematic) and there is a possibility I could get on my mother’s account too, to save money (which I couldn’t do if I have to share with the upstairs people)…
I can only ask and find out. They did say that I could get a better cable package if I was wanting to pay for it (cable is considered part of my rent, like water and internet) so I can’t see why they wouldn’t allow me to put up a small dish if I was willing to pay for that…
Doesn’t help me not to be afraid to ask.
I’m not good asking for things. When I first moved into the suite I didn’t have the internet password, and I was afraid to ask my landlord (who lived upstairs at the time and whom I had worked with in a capacity where I had been over HIM in the organization) for access. When my furnace broke on the first super cold night of the year, when my shower broke, when my kitchen sink started backing up… all these times I was afraid to go to the landlord for help. I am used to doing things on my own, and I feel like an interloper in my own home because I don’t OWN the space…
Its something I have to get over, if I want to make things better for myself.
So there is that. If I can get permission I will be getting real tv, which will also promote my spending more time doing creative work in my living room and likely spending less time zoning out online. Which has both positive and negative consequences for me.
Its a change I need to make, the limiting of online time.
I don’t expect that it will come easily, though. Having 90% of my communication paths online, talking to friends and family via email and various IM programs, it will prove difficult to wean myself off.
Its something that I have to do, at least for a bit.
I have so many craft things on the go and so much feeling that I really WANT to be focusing on, but for so long I have lived in the belief that I *HAVE* to be online at night, that I have nothing else that I can do with my evenings (especially when the kids are in bed and I can’t go to the gym and there isn’t anyone who can come over and visit or talk to on the phone) and I have nothing to watch on tv.
That’s changing, if I can help it.
I will have places to SIT. I will have my table to work on. I will have my lamp to stitch by. And I will ask about the tv situation.
I don’t have to be online only (although I will likely still be online a few nights a week) and I think that my creativity will thank me in the end…
I feel better sitting watching tv and knitting or doing cross stitch, doing yoga, playing wii (fit, of course), and not worrying about who might be ignoring me online.
Those are the changes going on….
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