Frozen Nowhere

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Originally uploaded by Moonslark

My life has been… well… turned a bit upside down lately.
Anyone who might read here might have noticed that in the last few days I haven’t written much, which might likely seem a bit unusual for me…
Just know that there are things I don’t blog about, things that hurt too deeply to reveal to the entire universe. Things that keep me feeling frantic and anxious and that nothing in my world can work out right, and that’s kinda the space I am in with things RIGHT now.

I intend to take action on the “things”… as soon as the topsy-turvies in my life…

So… I’m gonna update everyone (yay!) and see where this goes. Because writing, at least for me, seems to be more a process of talking to and discovering myself than really imparting ANY sort of information or interesting tidbit about anything that has anything to do with me…
 
Just so you are aware… really…
 
Anyway…
 
As I have been musing about lately, I am in the middle of a bit of an upheaval right now. The house that I bought with theEx sold and theEx has to move all his (and my) stuff out in the next 2 weeks while I have the kids.
 
This has caused some trouble for me.
 
I have to move out

…

Kill me.
 
Kill me NOW.
 
Okay the song is over now, its all good.
 
Just so you know, I really REALLY HATE Pearl Jam. Its a remant of my distaste for living with theEx… his favourite band and all.
 
There were honestly MONTHS where all he would listen to in the car was Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam cds and EVERY BOOTLEG OF EVERY FREAKING CONCERT THEY EVER DID.
 
Now listening to Pearl Jam, or Eddie Vedder’s Solo work make me cringe and want to stab myself in the ears repeatedly with my knitting needles (why I have knitting needles at work when the men make me want to stab THEM daily is another post ENTIRELY)…
 

…

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PpxqmCp4tc 

 
That is EXACTLY how I have been feeling this past winter. Stiff upper lip be damned, its been too cold for TOO long and I am tired of it.
 
I am tired of

• being indoors 
• shivering
• gasping for breath
• sinus headaches
• scraping car windows
• starting my car several times a day so I can be assured that it will GO when I am done work
• having to practically SIT on my space heater
• no fresh air that doesn’t HURT
• snow
• cold
• WIND CHILLS
• being chilled

 
Winter here is bad enough normally, but

…

Here it is, early March 2009, and it is STILL deep in the COLD COLD weather that we have been plagued with since the snow started falling in December.
 
It was -38C when I got up.
 
BEFORE the windchill, that is.
 
This winter has consistently been below -25c… and that’s been a problem for everyone and everything in my life.
 
Work: I work for a construction company. Our vehicles (never mind our men) does not work well when the temperatures are below -25c. That means that a lot of jobs are put off and delayed when the weather is as cold as it is. And with the economy slowing down somewhat (although not as much HERE

…