If you’re corked too tightly at the end of the day?
Oh, its just me then.
Well… it seems that 100% of my friends have agreed that, yes, I do think “too much”. But how do you know you are crossing the line from “enough thought given to a certain topic” into “too much thinking”?
I’m pretty sure its about the time that I start to make plans for the zombie apocalypse… complete with figuring out the logistics of all flows of information AND zombie disease transmission…
Sometimes planning the zombie apocalypse is more fun than dealing with my real life.
Just saying…
Yes, we ALL know that my life is feeling a bit out of control here lately. And we should all be seeing things dropping into line… one. thing. at. a. time…
Left a marriage that made me miserable (check)
repaired a relationship with my mother, sorta (check)
learned a LOT about who I am (check)
Realized when I was in a relationship that wasn’t working for me, and made the effort to get out before it got worse (check)
moved out on my own (check)
too contol over my finances (check)
made decisions about my spending habits for MYSELF (check)
made mistakes about spending and LEARNED from them (check)
had my ex-husband served (check)
got child and spousal support (check)
finalized my separation agreement (check)
did the online dating thing (check)
made dating mistakes (check)
met someone I feel really GOOD to be in a relationship with (check)
reorganized my home (check)
I know that there is a lot of work to be done still, there are things that I need to look at in the immediate (within 3 months) future, there are things I have to work on in the short term (within the year) and things to work towards in the long term…
In the immediate term:
my house needs to be cleaned (again)
my children need spring outer wear before they get soaked to the skin in the playground
I need to plan meals, buy groceries, and take care of the household
bills need to be paid
taxes need to be filed
lawyer needs to be emailed
my birthday party needs to be planned complete with who, what, and where…
where to get a cake or cuppie cakes
will everyone fit into my house
alcohol or no? (I don’t drink much, RGG drinks nothing, there will be kids there)
what to eat
Short Term:
financial planning to get the debts covered in a way that I am able to assume them AND make the payments
rebudget now that taxes are done and changes will be coming due to having done that
declutter my home, dump things I don’t need
finalize my divorce
take my kids on a trip
plan vacation time and scheduling
Long term:
What do I really want out of life? Do I want to eventually find a life partner and what type of life partner do I want?
Long term financial planning
RRSPs
RESPs
save towards purchase of my own home and BUY my own home
There are just things that build on each other, small things that build to the bigger things, and so too much importance is slathered onto the smaller details… which leaves me feeling like there is no wiggle room in the small things…
Setting me up for panicky feelings… if I don’t control my spending today then I have failed to succesfully budget for the larger term goal of a home purchase. If I forget to pay a bill (or, more likely double pay) I have screwed up my credit.
Its hard to keep perspective because I feel the weight of the world is entirely on ME alone… My future, and the future of my children, will be determined solely by ME, only ME.
I might marry again, I might not… that is dependant on my actions as I wend my way through the sticky situations of becoming single again, meeting people, dating and discovering not only a person I might be able to live with but who would also want to live with me. That’s a freaking daunting task right there!!
Owning a home for myself and my kids rests on me. All my planning and saving will work towards that, and I have to be careful to make sure I pay all the debts I now hold, save for the future for myself and my children, and save towards the goal of a home. I need to be able to find a market I can afford to buy in. I need to be able to foresee what I might need — 3 bedrooms? 4 bedrooms? 1 bathroom? 2 bathrooms? — and it all impinges on what I do NOW, how I spend or save… how I balance meeting the needs of my family against the needs of the future.
Alone.
Because even if I want to get married again, even if I want to just live common-law with someone again… that’s not ever going to be certain (can’t know if I will ever find anyone that will want to live with me or that I will ever want to live with) so I need to plan my life as if it will NOT happen, as if I will always be the only adult in my home… yet ever leaving possibility for other options…
No wonder I’m crazy.
I think the zombies have the right idea…
Mmmm… zombie apocalypse.
Tags: as-I-see-it, future plans, relationships
You need more graphics. Like a graphical thing with checkmark icons.
And yea you might think too much. But you think I think too much so you don’t listen to me when I say it.
I make cakes
I wasn’t sure if you would read a reply on my blog post about cakes, so I’ll write here to make sure you get it. My business blog is http://sugarbitesbaking.blogspot.com and there is photos of cakes on there, but no pricing yet since most cakes are custom made. Feel free to email me at the address on the blog if you are interested!