In the last gasps of the end of it all
April10
So… today has been a day of legal issues that need to be addressed.
The problem is that “things that need to be addressed” can only be addressed during time that is marked “need to work”. Which means that I have to squeeze talking to my lawyer, checking on payments, getting bank statements issued to me, and answering the inquiries from my lawyer have to all be done during my work hours.
Why?
Because convieniently (or not so much so) both my lawyer and I work Monday through Friday, 8am to 5pm…. and the bank I have to contact for payment information closes at 4:30pm… and the information line I need to call to talk to Student Loans is located in Ontario, so when they close at 5pm its only 3pm here…
And I actually have work to do today.
So my lawyer has requested that I pay theEx (indirectly, through trust-issued cheque) a rather “substantial” (to me) payment to equalize out the debts left from the marriage. We each owe about $4500… but because my student loan (in my name only) is about $2300 and its actually convienient for me to just assume that completely, i have to give theEx the amount to make up the $4500… and he will assume the Visa.
These are the only 2 debts that were not able to be paid out with the sale of the house.
Only… with theEx no longer being gainfully employed, and actually having been out of work for going on 4 months now, he no longer qualifies to get a loan to pay out the remainder of debts (both the amounts that are owed on the Visa that are considered JOINT/marital debt, as well as the portions NOT paid out on the line of credit and visa because they were agreed to be solely HIS debts — an additional $9000, for a total that he needs to assume of about $14,000) in HIS name.
This is a problem.
Our separation agreement clearly states that he is LEGALLY required to get my name off the line of credit and visa accounts. It doesn’t state WHEN this must be done by, but it states that it has to be done.
He doesn’t want to do this right now.
He could, but then he’d have to find a job sooner than he expected, as his cushion would deplete too fast, he’d only have a few more months.
I am not going to allow him NOT to take my name off the accounts, though. I will give him time to do it… but the longer my name is on those accounts the longer I am actually likely to be held responsible if he does run out of money. In that situation not only would I suddenly not have child support coming to me any longer, and I would still have to take on my student loan payment (an additional bill of about $122/mth), but I would suddenly be responsible for whatever extra theEx has charged to the Visa and Line of Credit… as they are JOINT accounts.
I asked my lawyer, though. He agreed that giving theEX time to do it was okay, but that he is still obligated to get it done.
I still have to issue a cheque… which is almost $2000 out of MY account to equalize our accounts…
The more ANNOYING issue about this was not that I was required to pay an amount into a trust so that would eventually go towards theEx… but that theEx CALLED me, at work, to complain about the situation.
I agree that doing things through the legal system is expensive… But the simple fact of the matter was that theEx was being a total douche after I left him and refusing to look at the situation in an appropriate manner.
He lived in debt… overdrawn chequeing account, no savings at all, and when he maxed his overdraft in his chequing he leaned HEAVILY on the visa and line of credit.
To THIS DAY (almost 2 years after I left) I still do not have a clue where $20,000 from the line of credit went. He has NEVER accounted for any of that money…
And while he was spending like crazy he wasn’t contributing any child support. I had full custody of the children for the first year after I left, and he REFUSED to pay support or daycare expenses.
So I HAD to go to a lawyer to pursue support. He refused to do it on his own, he refused to step up and contribute, and he KNEW exactly, to the $ how much he was expected to be contributing to his children given his income. He wouldn’t give me a penny unless I begged.
Instead I sued his ass.
So $10,000 in legal bills later here we are. He might be bitter about it, but he must recognize that he would not have done the right thing had it been left up to him.
So now, when he calls to whine about his lawyer and tell me that I shouldn’t be talking to mine or LISTENING to mine. Seriously, its just like when we were married and he would just tell me to do what he said, even if I knew it was wrong to do it, he would badger me into doing things his way because i was too weak to fight with him…
I’m no longer that stupid girl.
Yes, I know he needs time. But he has to realize that I am not going to allow him to keep my name on debts HE has wracked up due to HIS foolishness. Not forever. I can give him some time… but I don’t want to have to worry that at any moment the fact that he fails to live up to even MIN payments will fall on ME…
He tried to point out that if that happened he wouldn’t be paying child support either.
But… DUDE? You not paying me child support would not break me completely. You NOT paying support AND the bank coming after me for $14-20K of YOUR debts that I had nothing to do with? That WOULD seriously BREAK me…
He just never thinks…
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