Frozen Nowhere

Christmas with my family was… well… the same as always and best left undiscussed.

This year has been… interesting to say the least… but that’s  another post for another day.

One goal I had set for myself a few years ago was to clean up my financial situation — get out of debt and get a home of my own rather than stay living in rental places forever. It always seemed like one step forward and two steps back — I would get one thing under control and then I would slip in another area…

It often seemed that no matter what I tried, I couldn’t figure it all out. I had family pressuring me to do things and theEx demanding I pay for a lot of things he wanted to do, and a boyfriend with 2 kids who stayed over a lot of nights/weekends and increased my expenses over the year. But i continued to work on things, I continued to pay on things… and I have been nagging my lawyer to get this fucking divorce completed so I don’t have his bills hanging over my head forever (too bad he is not cooperating).

But I took a chance on getting out of the place I am living now, and I applied for a mortgage and I qualified.

And I made an offer on a cozy condo… knowing full well that I would likely no longer have room to host the boyfriend and his kids on weekends… and my offer was accepted

I will be a home owner

I have to pay off my student loans (which I was going to do anyway)… but i will OWN something. I will have space of my own. I will have a HOME instead of an apartment.

I will have my OWN colour on the walls.  I will have the ability to put up my pictures and needleworks on the walls. I will be able to decorate without feeling I’m throwing money away.

The bedrooms will be smaller than the average room in modern houses, and we will have to learn to make the smaller spaces work for us… but it isn’t unworkable either. We will have a living room space for all to use, and  a large kitchen/dinning area. We have our own basement for storage.

I know that for some things it will take time — I won’t be able to go out and buy every piece of furniture that I need (I need to replace the kids’ beds, I need a kitchen table with chairs that are sturdy and not so cheaply made that they will break, and I will eventually need a bed and mattress for my room instead of sleeping on a futon, and of course I need a washer/dryer) so I will buy the things that I absolutely need and can afford, and I will save up for the rest as things as time moves on. I will have to disappoint my mother in her expectations that Christmas be hosted in my house next year, because I am not 100% certain I will have more than 4 chairs or a tiny table until my finances are in better order again.

BUT I OWN SOMETHING, on my OWN.