It’s that time again, time to wishcast… come, join us at Jamie Ridler’s site

What do you wish for your space?

Since I have just moved into my own home, and I have been trying to get things all set up. I have never really had a place that was MINE. I lived with my parents, I rented, and I lived with theEx, and I rented. This is the first place that I have lived that I do NOT need to ask permission to change things around.  And yet, I hesitate to make many changes… the only rooms that were modified were the kids’ rooms, and even putting my needlework on the wall was a big step.

The SPACE I…

Randomly I participate in Jamie Ridler’s Wishcasting Wednesday meme. Sometimes I intend to do it, and forget. Sometimes I just don’t really have a concrete answer. Sometimes life just gets in the way…

So… this week’s question is:

What do you wish to have?

I notice, once I have written it down (or typed it out) that it isn’t “what do you wish you had?”… it’s not a regret, it’s not yearning, it’s looking forward to gaining something that isn’t there YET…

Profound

So what do I wish to HAVE?

1. Family.  I don’t feel particularly close to any of my family, and that’s something I don’t really know how to change.  Because I am not exactly the

…

I wanted to update on Friday, I really did… but it just wasn’t to be.

So here I will start again…

Things that just SUCKED ASS last week:

My Ex Husband

As per usual I got a lot of stress from my (now OFFICIALLY) Ex-Husband in the form of emails. While he doesn’t necessarily have the cahones to confront me in person, I often get email missives in which he basically threatens to financially destroy my life (or that his financial downfall, because of ME, will cause me financial destruction) if I don’t do what he wants me to do.

Currently he is freaking out about the child support that he owes for 2009 and what exactly constitutes “income”. The…

 With my divorce finalized, I have come to realize that the relationship with theEx has not only legally changed, but is ripe for a complete overhauling of the rules of engagement. While the rules have slowly been changing since I made the momentous step of walking out of our marital home and it has been difficult to create a sense of my complete independence from the role I played for so long.

The relationship with theEx was abusive. Verbally and emotionally theEx would use guilt and threats to subdue me and make me feel as small and unimportant as he could. Whenever I tried to create a boundary he would push through and stomp out my efforts. While most people…

I’m having a hard time writing lately. Things are feeling… hard… right now. I am distracted, trying to keep so many “balls in the air” in so many aspects of my life.

It’s hard to talk about things, even here, because I know that my words will be judged.  I appreciate people READING/Listening to my words, but there are some times when I do not necessarily need the FEEDBACK on my decisions, just the support that I am doing things the way I need to do them.

That being said… I have things that I want to get off my mind that don’t necessarily need the judgment of minds outside me (although support is okay, I don’t necessarily need “shoes”…