Frozen Nowhere

…intensely anxious due to a scheduled confrontation with someone

…upset about being “called out” in a situation where I have tried my best to be accommodating and adaptive and undemanding, but which I really should have been able to be a bit upset about the way things went.

…PAIN shooting from my knee to my shoulder

…a huge bruise darkening and spreading under the skin of my left hip.

…uncertainty about the future

…worry that plans I want to put into place will be shot down tomorrow

… Disappointment in the lack of direct communication

… sadness in being replaced so quickly, completely, and silently

…frustration with not being able to talk to you

…concern with not being able to get this dealt with even after an entire YEAR

… exhaustion at the thought of dealing with all of you

…love that you’d take the time to help me so much on your time off

…wish that I could make everything magical and fun, but keep finding that I am lacking the energy by the time I get home to you

…dread because the confrontation is coming soon

… hurt… just so so hurt by you…