All around me things are shedding – my cats are in a constant state of sheddy-goodness, the trees have released their leaves to the ground (and the roofs, the bottom of boots, the street… and pretty much everywhere else), and the fields have yielded whatever harvest will be eked out from this summer’s dismal bounty.
As Samhain approaches I become more and more conscious of the wanting to let go, to leave things behind in this year and step through the veil into the new year.
So what do I wish to shed?
I wish to shed the desire for perfection. I realize that this is one of my “all or nothing” views that I have been oh-so-slowly and painfully removing in my life. While it is not yet severe, my desire to do things perfectly has made me self conscious about a lot of things, especially when it comes to creating. I need to shed the idea that I can’t do things if I can’t be GOOD at doing them.
I wish to shed the need to have a spotless home. This is related to the fact that I want everything perfect, but its also very much about 1) not facing the reality of my life and 2) learning to balance. In reality I only have 168 hours a week – in one week I need the following time:
- Between 40 and 56 hours of sleep
- 40 hours at work
- 5 hours of travelling to and from work
- 3 hours for self care
- 10 hours for meal preparation and cooking
- 5 hours of extracurricular activities outside the home
This leaves only 49 hours a week to clean my house, get groceries, socialize, relax, and spend time with my children and Reg! While I could easily get my house cleaned in this amount of time, the stress of keeping it “perfectly” clean would drive me to distraction. With 2 kids living with me part time and 2 cats living with me FULL time I could clean 80 hours a week and still feel like I am “failing”… for right now I need to find what is “good enough” for me for each room.
I wish to shed my fears – the fears that everything will come tumbling down, that I am not enough, that I will die alone, that I cannot do it, that I do not have a destiny, that I am not liked – and learn to accept myself and my situation.
I wish to shed my shyness, my inability to ask for what I truly want and NEED, especially from my love and my self.
I wish to shed my anxiety related to food.
I wish to shed the romantic notions that I have of what love is, and accept love for what it really is.
I wish to shed this blog, and welcome the newness of my continuing journey… but that’s not ready yet…
You have some “good” items here to shed…most of which I can relate to very much. I too tend to be a perfectionist in work and in home and will get anxiety over it on a regular basis if I feel like I am failing somewhere. Food…me too. As you wish for yourself I wish for you as well. This question of asking us what we would like to shed is perfect for this time of year. I love working with the energies of the season to evaluate and grow within myself.
Blessings to you!
Chas
As Pam wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Many things to shed. I love the fact, you will shed “the need to have a spotless home”, there are so many other great things a woman can do instead of being slave to her housework.
PS I like the blog styling! Great!
Hello
Your wish list was powerful. I couldn’t help but notice that all of your items, when boiled down to a common denominator, equals the shedding of FEAR.
I only know one way to do that: Through massive applications of LOVE.
As you wish for yourself, I wholeheartedly and with love wish for you as well.
As Pam wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
Great list. I can relate to the house part. I love the way you broke down the work week. We are Goddesses, but we don’t have to be domestic goddesses! As you wish for yourself, so I wholeheartedly wish for you also.
Lovely lovely wishes. Nobody will remember you for your clean floors …but they will remember the fun time you had and the love you gave. xx
As you wish for yourself I so lovingly wish this for you also. xx
Hi Pam, what an important and thoughtful list. I love the idea and promise of a spotless house, but gave up obsessing over it long ago (though I found other things to be OCDish about in it’s place)
As you wish for yourself, so do I wish happily for you as well.