I have been struggling to find a new blog title/domain name that better describes where I am going right now that I am no longer in the winter-styled, loneliness that was my life when I started Frozen Nowhere…

THEN: I was a 33 year old woman who had done the seemingly impossible by walking out of an almost 10-year marriage with an “upwardly mobile” engineer. I was living in a tiny town in the middle-north of Saskatchewan, sleeping on my parent’s basement couch. I was practically broke, because the husband that everyone thought was SO wonderful had decided to try and break me by not paying child support while spending as fast and furiously on our joint accounts as he…

Yesterday I received a comment* from Sarah Lulu in which she stated:

I don’t think you are frozen nowhere anymore …maybe you could conjur up a new title that reflects your movement instead.

I have been feeling this sort of disconnect from the blog name for a bit, but I wasn’t sure what to do with it, since I have been writing here under this name for going on 3 years now.

When I started the blog it was just another place to write. I had previously spent 10 years writing on the Open Diary, but since the privacy of that space had been violated by my then husband, my words twisted and turned and used to cause me injury……

This couldn’t have come at a better time for me, since I have been thinking that a lot of my issues with connection have stemmed from an essential lack of confidence.

I wasn’t always this meek.

At least I don’t think I was.

I remember being told I was such a “fierce” girl, that I was going to do well in life… that I knew what I wanted and wasn’t going to let anyone else tell me that I couldn’t do that.

Who is that girl? Where did she go?

I wish for confidence in my SELF. I wish to know who I am, what I am meant to do. I wish for confidence in joining with other people. I…

The rain is back… it’s a cold drizzling rain that has been water logging the grass and causing mass muddies everywhere. This summer has been unusually wet, to the point that GirlChild had managed to wear a hole in her rubber boots early in the summer… and yet the rainy season has continued through the summer and into the fall…

Could be worse, I guess… it could turn white.

It is fall… officially. It has felt like fall for a few weeks now, with the frost in the air, the early sunsets and the late sunrises. It’s getting harder to get up in the wee hours of the morning, and harder to sleep soundly through the wee hours of the…

The last 3 years I have been wandering, lost, in an unknown place. I shook off the chains of my marriage, I left an abusive situation, and I gained my freedom. But in a lot of ways I wasn’t READY for the freedom I gained, and the sudden freedom really messed with my mind.

Where I was….

TheEx monitored me 24 hours a day. I was used to being watched and scrutinized and was fearful of talking to coworkers, fearful of phone calls and emails, and fearful of making plans. For years I knew that my husband would call me at work, randomly, and hope to catch me away from my desk, which he assumed meant that I was engaging…