Frozen Nowhere

The draw of the internet, at least for me, has always been that it has allowed me to be both visible and safely invisible.
 
At least for the most part.
 
Unless I accidentally give out my real phone number to people who threaten to send me dead rats via Canada Post^* (which, in case you are wondering, really REALLY pisses Canada Post off… they do not approve of dead rats in the mail. I’m not sure they approve of LIVE rats all that much either… but if you label the box “careful, live animal” I think they will take it. But I haven’t tested the waters on that one yet)… and thus become somewhat transparent.
 
Being an online

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Here it is, early March 2009, and it is STILL deep in the COLD COLD weather that we have been plagued with since the snow started falling in December.
 
It was -38C when I got up.
 
BEFORE the windchill, that is.
 
This winter has consistently been below -25c… and that’s been a problem for everyone and everything in my life.
 
Work: I work for a construction company. Our vehicles (never mind our men) does not work well when the temperatures are below -25c. That means that a lot of jobs are put off and delayed when the weather is as cold as it is. And with the economy slowing down somewhat (although not as much HERE

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Either that or I’m in danger of becoming homicidal.

Why, you may ask?

It all comes down to working with men and how little they THINK about things before they promise them.

I’m not sure if this is all men, or just the particular group… but its been a pattern with all men in my life so far — they make promises that they expect the WOMEN in their lives to fulfill without EVER considering what it is that they are asking or expecting.

My job makes me want to scream most days.

So far this week has been hell…

Why?

Because my manager sets unrealistic expectations for my performance and makes promises that I have to fulfill,…

Okay… so I didn’t manage to write all that much last week, which was likely good because by the friday before I went on “vacation” I started to have shooting pains in my right wrist whenever I typed. 

And you know, when typing and writing are so vitally important to you, that kinda sucks. So for the most part I did not do any writing this week. 

Instead I spent MOST of the week with RGG and all the kids.

And you know? I’m STILL not sure with him.

I mean, I love him, and I am attracted to him and I feel really good about things with him. For the most part I haven’t tried to do a

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I am happy that my life is no longer in a permanent holding pattern, and that there is an end date to this process. I am starting my life again, in a very real sense, and I am feeling so much better about things now than I did 3 years ago, 2 years ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago…
 
So much has changed, and, especially in the last 3 months, changed for the BETTER. I have been doing a great deal of personal WORK, quietly, privately, and with passion and enthusiasm, which is getting me over the blocks that I have been holding me back for the last few years. I have worked consistently on getting back

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