Frozen Nowhere

Everything we do has an energetic component to it. We expend multiple lines of energy for each and every activity we do… but we rarely recognize more than the physical energetic exertion for any one task, or occasionally we’ll note the level of emotional energy we have expended.

But is that all there is to the Energetic Things?

Nope. Not by a long shot.

The fact that I NOTICE how physically draining an activity is does not negate the fact that the same activity might be spiritually filling. It might emotionally suck me dry or intellectually feed me… or BOTH, at once. Hell… one activity might have physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energetic consequences at the same time

As each…

It can be hard to see the energetic THINGS that we have in our lives.

We acquire more THINGS – both physical and energetic – when we are in a deficit space. The need to “fill” ourselves or to “fill” some need that we have causes us to seek out more. Some of the things we acquire fill the needs, and therefore enrich our lives.

But some of the THINGS are just an expression of the process of feeling a lack in our lives.

I know that I went through a process of gathering when I went through the process of divorce. I mostly gathered notebooks and pens and creative supplies. I tried to find an outlet for something that…

I have a lot of trouble saying “no”, even when I know I need to.

It’s been a lifelong struggle for me, just to say “no” to things that I do not want… but this is something I am working on changing.

Why do I say “yes” when I want to say “no”?

Honestly, there are a variety of reasons that I do this:

• I want to belong. This is the strongest one, because I can feel it pulling me into things I don’t have the time, energy or finances to do. I have spent more of my life looking for people to interact with and a place to belong than any other goal in my life, and even

…

I seem to have fallen silent here lately, and that’s a shame because I feel like I have things to write about but not the time to write them (work has kicked up a notch and after a day on the computer I have no desire lately to spend more time online)… I assume this is a summer thing, as there are other things I am better able to do while the season is at least somewhat pleasant.

So… the question Jamie asks this week is :

What do you wish to send LOVE to?

As weird as it might seem, I wish to send love to my SELVES :

•  I wish to love the unloved child-self that never

…

I’m having a hard time writing lately. Things are feeling… hard… right now. I am distracted, trying to keep so many “balls in the air” in so many aspects of my life.

It’s hard to talk about things, even here, because I know that my words will be judged.  I appreciate people READING/Listening to my words, but there are some times when I do not necessarily need the FEEDBACK on my decisions, just the support that I am doing things the way I need to do them.

That being said… I have things that I want to get off my mind that don’t necessarily need the judgment of minds outside me (although support is okay, I don’t necessarily need “shoes”…