Frozen Nowhere

Today I read an post by Havi over at the Fluent Self about being seen and her cycle of wanting to be invisible and wanting to be seen and then BEING seen and this really sparked a bit of thinking on my part.
 
You see, I have struggled for most of my life to find ANY kind of balance between wanting to remain completely inconspicuous and wanting to be seen. And while I can’t say that I have come to any set conclusion about these things, I have really started to LOOK at the various needs

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This weekend was the first weekend that I have spent alone (as in, no other adult company of ANY kind) in about 1 year… and the first time I have been alone for an entire weekend since I started dating Reg.  I am not used to not seeing him, not having him over for the night, or even just for an evening of watching movies. (But I did get a sweet phone call from him Saturday afternoon, totally unsolicited by me… YAY!!)
 
But he’s going through some stuff with his separation/divorce and I understand that he needed time to himself right now, that he just wanted a weekend without the kids screaming and yelling and fighting while he tried to sleep

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So… its been a while. 
 
My life kinda took a sideways slide last week, which was freaky, scary, unfortunate, and really made me not want to write anything about anything.
 
It took a LOT of talking to the people who matter the most to me, confiding in those I love, and some professional information and advice… but perspective has now been gained.
 
Things are not COMPLETELY resolved… there is still a giant question mark hanging over some aspects of my life, there are still fragments of my relationships that either can or cannot be repaired.
 
For one thing, I do not really know where I stand with RGG right now… but then again, I never

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Here we go again.
 
This weekend was wonderful. I like that now I can write and write and write over the course of the week and not worry too much about taking a pause on the weekends. I can’t believe that I didn’t realize I could schedule my posts… this is a “well, duh” moment, here.
 
Of course, up until this week I didn’t realize that I could do that… I mean conceptually I did know… I just never realized that I could do it on MY blog as well. And, a few months ago I didn’t NEED to know this stuff because, well… I didn’t WRITE a few months ago.
 
And now I have my

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Because I don’t talk about him enough…
 
I don’t know if I have talked much about the Really Great Guy (TM) or RGG in this blog very much. I mean, I mention him in passing, I state a lot of things that are different about the relationship with him, as a passing comparison to either STBX or Stalker… but I don’t really talk much about him, per se. And if I do then I don’t really remember doing so…
 
And so I have decided that I will spend a little time talking JUST about RGG. Not about Stalker (partly because I think that I have poured enough energy into him lately,

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