Frozen Nowhere

Last week I suffered a disappointment.

Not in something that I wanted. But in my identity as a mother…

My son has been lying to me (in particular) about his homework. Yes, he has been lying to his father as well, but the fact of the matter is that he has been telling me every day for MONTHS that he has had “no homework” when, in fact he has been steadily getting farther and farther behind in his work.

Now, because the teachers have decided to allow the children to take “ownership” of their workload, my son has been coasting along without any adult intervention in this. Not once has the teacher or school indicated, to myself (or presumably to…

I often feel like the ONLY parent in the universe who has kids who are struggling. Maybe I’m just the ONLY PARENT IN THE UNIVERSE who will admit that their kids aren’t perfect angels? Maybe I’m the only parent willing to say “hey, listen, I’m struggling to find a way to help my kids”…

Or maybe my kids ARE the only ones who have “issues” as yet undetermined?

Whatever the case, 90% of my interaction with the school/teachers* has been relatively NEGATIVE in nature. It seems more often than not I am being asked to explain WHY one or the other (or both) of my children are having problems.  I am frustrated. I have no set of peers to talk…

When I was a teenager I believed that the right man would be out there, waiting for me. I believed that he would be right for me, no matter what, and I would know who he was and it would be happily ever after.

In high school I dated Jace. We dated for 2 years. We were best friends and lovers. We fought like cats and dogs. We loved each other, but we both knew that in the end we were not “meant” for each other. I moved on and dated other people and married theEx, Jace moved on and dated other people and married. We drifted apart.

In my “senior” or grade 12 year and through the first few…

It seems this week is all about taking a break from things that no longer enrich you, or which you actively DISLIKE doing. For this week’s wishcasting Wednesday, Jamie Ridler asked “What do you wish to take a break from?” and  for  Zen Thursday, Goddess (and hopefully now MAMA GODDESS!!!) Leonie asked the Zen Goddesses to make a list of 5 things that we don’t like doing and stop doing one of them. Because these are so similar I decided that I will deal with them together.

What do I wish to take a break from?

I want a break from feeling guilty about how my ex is “surviving” with the burden of child support – and…

I missed doing a Check-in last week because, well… things were crazy (and I was crazy exhausted because my neighbors woke me up SUPER early (4am) and I wasn’t well (UTI))… anyway here I am again…

The Bad Stuff

Still Exhausted

Just plain exhausted.  It seems that no matter how early I go to bed at night (I try to be in bed by 10pm, which is “early” since I get home from whatever activity I had that night at 8:30pm or 9:30pm and then I usually need to wash dishes and sweep floors and do some housekeeping) I don’t seem to be able to get a RESTFUL sleep.  With my anxiety over everything right now, and worrying that…