Frozen Nowhere

Everything we do has an energetic component to it. We expend multiple lines of energy for each and every activity we do… but we rarely recognize more than the physical energetic exertion for any one task, or occasionally we’ll note the level of emotional energy we have expended.

But is that all there is to the Energetic Things?

Nope. Not by a long shot.

The fact that I NOTICE how physically draining an activity is does not negate the fact that the same activity might be spiritually filling. It might emotionally suck me dry or intellectually feed me… or BOTH, at once. Hell… one activity might have physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energetic consequences at the same time

As each…

Yesterday…

… I worked to get my IM working, only to be told that the issue wasn’t with any of the friends on my contact lists.

… I reconnected my email accounts.

… I cried

… I realized that as much as it hurt, it was necessary to let it go.

… I left the lawyer another message.

…I decided to travel even if I had to go alone.

… I wanted to bitchslap someone.

… I wanted a change of scenery.

… I finished my book and realized Ididn’t have another.

… I realized that I didn’t have to forgive and forget, because that is not necessarily a moral “good” in my world.

…I delighted in the colour of…

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Jamie Riddler asks us this week: What do you wish to NOURISH?

There are 3 things that I wish to nourish right now:

1. 1. Sovereignty – the quality of not caring what other people think of your YOUNESS. With my struggles of coming into my own, I want to nourish and nurture the blossoms of my sovereignty. I have had to make a few visceral decisions lately that are going to be hard for me to stand up for. They are right for me, in the way that leaving the abuse was right for me, and I need to own these decisions. I have a feeling that some people might not be necessarily happy with my decisions, but I

…

Last night my relationship with R ended.

I knew it was coming, I had felt it and fought against it for months, hoping that something could miraculously change and I wouldn’t have to start again.

ALONE

It ended over IM. A sad state of affairs, but in a few key strokes it was over, by mutual agreement that things were NOT working, that too much was going on in our lives (for me– kids, divorce, ex, legal issues, child support fight, buying a house; for him—kids, cross border divorce, custody, child support fight, financial difficulties, depression) for us to see a future together.  He realized how bad it was, finally, only after I had given up on asking him to…