Frozen Nowhere

Okay… I admit it, I have been a bit quiet this week.
 
Uncharacteristically quiet, even for me…
 
There are a few reasons for this
 

1. I am working modified hours because of issue with before and after school care of my kids.
2. I still have about a billion things to do for Yule, never mind Christmas…
3. Work is kicking my hiney…

 
But none of those things have gotten me quite as distracted as the BIG FAT NEWS item…
 
And no, i’m not gonna tell you about it quiet YET (laugh) first

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April was a month of pretty spectacular suckitude… I went from feeling pretty good about myself after having a bit of a health scare (or 2 actually, as the attack of the aspertame caused me to have several weeks of skin irritation with no real defined “cause”) and realizing that my finances could be back in order due to investments, tax refunds, and budgeting…
 
To feeling like I was going to lose my children because social services decided that they were going to investigate me for what amounted, in the end, to having tapped my kids on their behinds with a wooden spoon — in JEST — one day when I wanted to get them out of the

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Today I am in a really great mood, which is odd because:
1) Its monday
2) There is a better than average chance that I have been exposed to a cold/flu thing that is going around
3) I have a TON of things to do at home
4) TheEx will be coming over RIGHT after I am done work to get things that the kids forgot to take with them
5) I have to deal with more legal BS tomorrow
 
This weekend was really great… and I say that with all honesty despite having a lot of anxiety at being in RGG’s house and feeling out of place and at odds with my place in his life at times. It

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I am happy that my life is no longer in a permanent holding pattern, and that there is an end date to this process. I am starting my life again, in a very real sense, and I am feeling so much better about things now than I did 3 years ago, 2 years ago, 1 year ago, even 6 months ago…
 
So much has changed, and, especially in the last 3 months, changed for the BETTER. I have been doing a great deal of personal WORK, quietly, privately, and with passion and enthusiasm, which is getting me over the blocks that I have been holding me back for the last few years. I have worked consistently on getting back

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Seriously bloggable…
 
So… I have been spending a great deal of time doing the introspective thing lately, even more so than you can see here (laugh). I am a naturally introspective person, and changes in the year and seasons tend to get me all “thinky”, and that natuarally comes out of me at these times.
 
My comparison of 2008 to 2009!

• I started off 2008 alone, in my parents’ basement, by giving each of my kids a kiss on midnight while they slept.  I started 2009 off with RGG and his friends, by giving RGG a huge and passionate kiss and feeling his arms around me.
• 2008 started off with my living with

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