Frozen Nowhere

I missed doing a Check-in last week because, well… things were crazy (and I was crazy exhausted because my neighbors woke me up SUPER early (4am) and I wasn’t well (UTI))… anyway here I am again…

The Bad Stuff

Still Exhausted

Just plain exhausted.  It seems that no matter how early I go to bed at night (I try to be in bed by 10pm, which is “early” since I get home from whatever activity I had that night at 8:30pm or 9:30pm and then I usually need to wash dishes and sweep floors and do some housekeeping) I don’t seem to be able to get a RESTFUL sleep.  With my anxiety over everything right now, and worrying that…

This is the story of how I am feeling right now…

I am overwhelmed right now.

 I feel like I can’t possibly get it all done, I don’t have the tools (as in power tools and implements) to get things fixed and take things apart and just making sure things are the way they need to be for me to get them OUT of the house.  I need to take apart both beds that the kids are in now – which were put together with electric drills. I need to take apart the futon I sleep on to get it out of my room. I need to take apart the desk in my room. I need to touch up paint.…

I am starting to panic

No, seriously, I’m not sure if I can “get ‘er done” and get everything moved.  It feels like there is SO much to do and I don’t know if I can get it all completed in time.

This is the first time I will be moving on my own with minimal help.

The first time without a “partner” to assist in packing and cleaning and arranging things (although I did all the logistics)

The first time without family assistance

The first time I need to deal with 2 homes at once – moving stuff out , doing repairs, and cleaning the old place while painting and setting up a new place.

The first time…

So… I’m gonna update everyone (yay!) and see where this goes. Because writing, at least for me, seems to be more a process of talking to and discovering myself than really imparting ANY sort of information or interesting tidbit about anything that has anything to do with me…
 
Just so you are aware… really…
 
Anyway…
 
As I have been musing about lately, I am in the middle of a bit of an upheaval right now. The house that I bought with theEx sold and theEx has to move all his (and my) stuff out in the next 2 weeks while I have the kids.
 
This has caused some trouble for me.
 
I have to move out

…

I’m nominally back on track. I have moved, retrieved a bit of the marital furniture, and have started to unpack and reorganize my life. I have a lot of work yet to do, but that’s as to be expected. I have bought some new stuff, particularly a new tv, and I have gotten back some of my old stuff (love seat, books, SOME pictures (but not any of the photo albums or non-digital pictures of my children)). I have spent the last week setting up something so that when STBX brings the children back tonight they have something to come to.