or… I wonder if he will ever call again after *THAT* night.
So… after last weekend’s mess, you wouldn’t think that I could do anything to top the mess I got myself into. But, that just means that you don’t know me all that well.
You see… I might have a degree in logistics, but that doesn’t mean that I actually bother to think about the entire logistical network when I am trying to get something done. As an Aries woman I am prone to starting all sorts of projects, drumming up enthusiasm for said project, then abruptly moving onto the next thing that I think up. I also come up with wonderful plans that involve planning and foresight, and appropriate logistical networks from other people and other departments and other vendors. And then things go goofy, and I don’t worry about it and toss out the entire plan… thus frustrating whomever I have dragged into my scheme.
This weekend was such a scheme.
Friday night I was disappointed because RGG had decided not to come into the city. I understood the reasoning, the highways were AWFUL, after all and I had gone home an hour early from work (4pm instead of 5pm) in order to have time to get into the city and get to the medical clinic (I had run out of my asthma inhalers and needed a doctor to sign off on my prescription renewal, which meant going to a walk in clinic rather than waiting 3 weeks for my doctor to have an availability… because, as is my habit, I had already started having asthma attacks from the dry and cold air)… and I was miserable, lonely, and frustrated by the stupidity of the people around the city. And the fact that RGG was not likely to come in was just a bit MORE frustrating. Added to that, he didn’t seem to want to talk to me anyway made me concerned about this dating thing.
But… he seems very happy being with me (when we do get together)… and yet… there is that lingering feeling. I know that mostly it is the newness of the relationship, because everything is so new and we haven’t had a lot of time to settle into to being with each other. You know, that beginning of a relationship when it is so new and there is no real security with each other? Yeah, that’s where it is right now.
So what made me think that NOW was the time for me to introduce him to my kids? Or to have ALL the kids meet each other?
I honestly have no idea.
But that’s exactly what the plan was.
Saturday I was disappointed, unnecessarily so, because RGG and I had planned to actually spend some time together where we were not just hanging out either at his house or mine, watching movies, snuggling on the couch. I mean, its not like I don’t LIKE that… but… you know, I started this dating process to get OUT of my house, not to be in the same patterns as before — I stay home and wait for someone to come over and its all about the sex and there is nothing ELSE that we can ever do. And… I have been really starting to worry that this is where this relationship is going (and if it is, I guess I’m back to square one — avoiding the weird stalkers, dealing with men who, of course, want nothing more than sex, and trying to find someone, anyone that might be in this for more of a sense of partnership)…
RGG and I had actually had plans to go OUT in public together. We were going to try and get the last of our Christmas shopping done, walk about the malls, maybe go out for supper, and we were going to set up the blinds in my living room (which I bought over a month ago) while the kids were out of the house, before him potentially spending the night.
Only, he couldn’t get his car started.
He had slept in, getting up around noon, and when he finally decided to try to get the car started (around 2) it was frozen solid from the bitter bitter cold that we have been living through (its around -30C here every day… BEFORE the wind chill is added on). And so, despite plans… he stayed out at his place and I went out with G and her friend (who thankfully took pity on me for being “stood up” and allowed me to hang out with them)…
I have to say I was TERRIBLY disappointed by this turn of events… as I said, I have been starting to feel that this “relationship” is solely based on sex because it seems that every time we have had an opportunity to get out together (a weekend I am without my kids) something comes up to make sure that we can’t actually go OUT. Hell… I don’t want to do anything fancy together, I don’t need to have a lot of money spent to have a good time… but I would like to feel like more than just someone to sleep with. It seems that’s all we can do together… and to have made plans for an entire day of just getting out and getting to know each other, cancelled by the cold weather, made me really concerned that maybe this was his way of saying that he didn’t want to come in and spend time with me… even though I know that is stupid to think because he was so very frustrated by having to stay out in his small town, and since I am having to wait for him to make first contact to know he’s AVAILABLE …. well he could have just as easily not texted me and made up some other excuse.
So… I accepted that he wasn’t available, and I tried to have fun anyway…
Sunday I had plans to spend the night with the kids at the Travelodge here in the city. I got a free night there in a theme room, and I had planned to spend Yule there with the kids. G had decided she would come for part of it as well, and it was going to be an event for us. I had planned on taking the kids to their indoor pools to swim, ordering pizza, and relaxing with a lovely hotel movie… and I thought, I wanted the kids to meet RGG, and I thought that maybe HIS kids would like to come and go swimming, have pizza, and watch a movie… so I decided to invite RGG and his daughters along for the ride.
Now… by this time I was half sure that RGG was not going to make it, as far as I knew he was still stuck out in the middle of small town Saskatchewan with a totally frozen car. So I planned around him, not knowing if this was the right thing to do, given how I have started to worry that he’s not really that interested anymore… but I figured it would be fun, if nothing else.
So… I set my plan in motion. And then my parents threw themselves into the middle of the plan…
You see… I had told everyone (G, my parents, and STBX) that I was going to try to check into the hotel at 2pm. My parents decided, the morning that we were gonna do this, that they were going to come in at 1pm and get all the things that I would be needing to take with me to Edmonton for Christmas, since the NEW plan for that was for the kids and I go out to Rosthern to their house, leave my car there, and we would leave from Rosthern “whenever they are done work” on December 24th. So… I tried to get all the clothes for myself and BoyChild, presents, extras ready to go with them, and toiletries and bathing suits and other sundries to go to the hotel… all at once… I got half of these things mixed up, the other half I completely forgot…
SO, as is my mother’s habit they showed up, spent 15 mins with me, then wanted to wander off to do something else. So we had agreed to meet, after I made sure MY car would start and had it warmed up, at a local Tim Hortons… AFTER they went to the Shoppers Drug Mart to buy SOMETHING. AT 1:30pm, when I had to be somewhere else at 2pm!!!!
And, of course my parents are the ONLY humans in this city who do NOT have cell phones. So when STBX called to ask if I was at the hotel, half an hour BEFORE he was to drop them off… apparently he wanted to drop them off even EARLIER than we had agreed and was a bit miffed that I hadn’t shown up at the hotel yet (official check in time is at 3pm). So I am stuck, sitting in my car, waiting at Tim Horton’s for both my parents AND STBX to show up so I can go to meet G at the hotel at 2… and its already 1:45pm and I am half way across the city (in Christmas traffic and cold iciness).
So… my parents arrive just as STBX has arrived to drop off the kids off… its -38C without the wind chill, and STBX has EVERYTHING that both of these kids own with him, plus presents (which he then informs me not to FREEZE)… and while I am trying to get them into the car to stay warm my parents were distracting the kids (and again… -38C…. that’s COLD COLD COLD), and of course, my parents haven’t been in to visit the kids since July, so the kids thought that they were going to stay and visit, so they were disappointed over that…
I finally managed to pack all the stuff into the trunk, buckled up the kids, and headed towards the hotel to meet G.
One thing about G is that she is particular. If you say you will be somewhere at a certain time, you need to be there at that time or she’s all out of sorts. Also, G hates children… a lot. She has structured her life around the fact that she hates kids, never wants to have any of her own, doesn’t like to spend time with them, and doesn’t want any risk of being responsible for any kids. It is to the point that she never bothered to date because she never wanted to risk accidentally getting pregnant… and now she avoids dating because most men her age will have kids and she wants nothing to do with THAT either.
Given these 2 things, it is amazing that we have stayed friends. Granted she only wants to talk to me or hang out with me if the kids are not around, or after they go to bed… but the fact that she has no interest in children and she HATES the children that exist around her, and the comments she continually makes to that effect (and how hurtful some of them are) it is amazing that she and I still maintain a friendship. I am not always the most structured person, because i have always been the “lets see what THIS does” type… and it often gets me a lot of stories to tell, and a lot of adventures, but it also means a lot of silly things I have to “clean up” as well… and for the most part, G is not a spontaneous “new things” kind of person…
I was actually surprised that she wanted to come along with me to the hotel with the kids, even for a bit, because it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that she would willingly “waste” her Yule evening on… she doesn’t swim, she doesn’t like kids… and given the ambiguous schedule in play I figured that she would run screaming the other way as fast as she could, rather than hang out with us. And the fact that I had invited another 2 little girls to the event — and their father whom I think I am dating (but again, I’m not really so SURE about that)… she was more likely than not to NOT want to participate — even given tradition and pizza! But still she willingly came along… and for the most part the complaints didn’t start until later…
So.. the kids and I arrived at the hotel at around 2pm. And G came a few mins later. We had to wait for the room to be cleaned in order to check in, so we hung around in the lobby with all the stuff that we had brought (and the bag that STBX had sent that couldn’t freeze) and waited for 10 mins for the room to be cleaned and inspected. It was then that I had realized that I forgot to pack some of the things — plastic cultery, toothbrushes, hair brushes… all sorts of things… but I was loathe to leave G with the kids to go back to get things.
While I was trying to carry all the bags and things that the bag that STBX had given me had decided to break. There I was, in the lobby with 2 kids and a million bags and now a gift bag that had broken its handles AND ripped down the side… and no way to carry it to the room… which I am SURE amused the hotel front desk staff (who were looking a bit bored when we came in anyway) who rushed to help us find a box to stuff everything into so we could get the hell out of their lobby with the disruly kids and millions of bags and boxes.
And down we trundled… to our very own “medival castle” room…
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