Frozen Nowhere

So… I’m gonna update everyone (yay!) and see where this goes. Because writing, at least for me, seems to be more a process of talking to and discovering myself than really imparting ANY sort of information or interesting tidbit about anything that has anything to do with me…
 
Just so you are aware… really…
 
Anyway…
 
As I have been musing about lately, I am in the middle of a bit of an upheaval right now. The house that I bought with theEx sold and theEx has to move all his (and my) stuff out in the next 2 weeks while I have the kids.
 
This has caused some trouble for me.
 
I have to move out

…

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PpxqmCp4tc 

 
That is EXACTLY how I have been feeling this past winter. Stiff upper lip be damned, its been too cold for TOO long and I am tired of it.
 
I am tired of

• being indoors 
• shivering
• gasping for breath
• sinus headaches
• scraping car windows
• starting my car several times a day so I can be assured that it will GO when I am done work
• having to practically SIT on my space heater
• no fresh air that doesn’t HURT
• snow
• cold
• WIND CHILLS
• being chilled

 
Winter here is bad enough normally, but

…

So… like I wrote previously, I was planning on making changes to the set up of my apartment this weekend.
 
And that is just what RGG and I did yesterday.
 
This weekend was GREAT (even despite 4 screaming kids most of the time)…
 
It all started… last week (laugh)
 
(cue wavey lines and flash back type effects here)
Last week I was starting to feel a bit weirded out by the fact that RGG has been having telecommunications issues — basically, for about 1 month I was unable to chat with him on IM and he was not able to call me (and given my cell plan, calling him was getting expensive) and I was

…

I am finding myself in a good mood this morning, which is a surprise because I have been feeling a bit uneasy for the past few days and I can’t quite put my finger on WHY.
 
This past month has definately had its ups and downs.
 
Ups:

• RGG said he loved me out loud. I mean, I KNEW that already since we had been dancing around it for a few weeks before he said it, but it was nice that he actually said it out loud. I have to admit that I was kind of shocked, because we had been joking around and watching a romantic movie at the time and he went all suddenly serious on me and told me that he had to tell me something.

…

Right now I am feeling the “its not you, its me” thing.
 
Its not that I don’t like RGG, hell… I love the boy. And I mean the weird mooshy-gooshy romantic sort of love, not the “you’re my friend and I love you, man” sorta love.
 
But I find myself a bit… scared right now.
 
You see… I want to spend time with him. A lot of time. Hell… I would like to go to bed with him every night, and wake up with him every morning. I would like to cook for him and clean up after him. I would like to fight with him and make up with him…
 
I am, quite frankly, twitterpated.

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