Frozen Nowhere

It’s Week 5 (out of 6 weeks) for the Decluttering Goddesses eCourse that I have decided to take… and I have to admit, I’m TORN.

The course is made up of 2 parts — decluttering your space and reinventing your relationship to your STUFF, and a more spiritual aspect where the participants are encouraged to create space withing their homes that nourish their souls.

I am working through week 5 on the decluttering part (after a brief period of time where, because of the kids and work and social obligations I was unable to really unload my stuff or go through parts of the apartment), I’m revising my lifestyle and reviewing the way I shop and what I am…

(I am still fairly annoyed that, for some reason or other, I am unable to upload posts from work to my bloggity blog place… I blame it on some special hidden bit of WordPress that I am not aware of. No matter what it is, I cannot update directly from my work computer to my blog and so I find that sometimes I forget to update the blog… oops, my bad)
Okay… so I have done something for myself, part of self-care, that I have been struggling with on my own for a long time.
I signed up for an e-course! Specifically, the Making Space for your Goddess

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I am a cusp person.

Astrologically I am considered an Aries/Taurus cusp, being that my birthday is on the day when it switches over from Aries to Taurus. I have been told that I am definitivly an Aries, based on the time and date of my birth… but I still tend to have quite a few Taurean traits as well.

Personality wise, I cusp between introvert and extrovert. No matter how many times I take the MBTI test I cannot get a consistent reading of introversion/extroversion. And for that matter, I can’t make up my OWN mind, which causes me a lot of weird feelings when I’m with groups of people.

You see… I LIKE being involved. I thrive on…

Now, I am well aware that I am aware that I need to make changes in my life. I am also aware that I have been both avoiding doing the things that I KNOW that I should do to make changes, and worrying about the impact of changing my routine…

If you know me personally you know that I have been going back and forth, mentally pacing about WANTING to change and having the ideas of how I can start to change, and then FREAKING OUT because in order to make the changes I would have to commit to DOING something…

So I go from the THOUGHT (east) of what I want to change, I build in the DESIRE

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I haven’t been writing lately…
 
I know this, you (the imaginary people who exist out there in the interwebs) this… my friends know this…
 
And yet there are times I feel helpless to change this situation.
 
Right now every time I sit down to write I end up ranting over the boring crap in my life:

• theEx and the legal, financial, and parental changes he wants to impose on my life on a continuous basis
• feeling distressingly STUCK in my life and not knowing what I want to change, much less HOW to change it…
• feeling LONELY, and not knowing how to change THAT without the drastic measure of starting to date

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