Frozen Nowhere

What I feel needs to be changed: I want to change my approach to Spirituality

What I realized was hurting me:

In the most basic sense of the word I have isolated myself from my spirituality, and I feel the keen loss and the “calling home” sense. I have to admit that it has been a LONG time since I was an active participant in my spiritual path…

I have never felt anything profound and glorious and sparkly from the “Status Quo” religions of my life –The traditional churches left me feeling… empty. At 17 I started reading everything I could find on Wicca and started putting things into practice on my own. I dedicated myself, found others…

Four days Away…

I want to write about the first vacation I took my kids on.

I want to write about my time with Serin.

I want to write.

But…

Well… previous attempts at detailing previous trips to visit with Serin have been rather… well…. boring. Not that that is an unusual thing, it seems that I have issues with trying to find my “voice” in my writing. I write too much detail, I try to keep the good snippets alive by writing out EVERY LAST boring thing, I never seem to have any point, and the entries seem to be endless blathering nonsense that no one cares about.

And with the struggles of the last 2 years, leaving my…

I have been remiss in taking pictures lately, and I have not put many of them up on my blog.

I’m sorry.

There are 2 reasons for this:

1. My camera is a bit bulkier than I would like, and as such I find carrying it around to be more of a burden than a blessing. I have requested a new, slimmer, and GREENER (in colour) camera for Yule/Christmas… but my family doesn’t spend more than $50 on me (while spending $500 on my brother) and my mother decided not to help me with this. Serin, as well, has pooh-poohed my desire to get a new camera (big poop!!) since he has been appointed my “Budget Gnome” for 2009. BUT…

 Serin pointed out to me that in the past few weeks I could have managed to finish NaNoWriMo if I had put my effort to a story rather than blog entries. I am sure he’s right.

If you look at the sheer amount I have written and posted on both Open Diary and FrozenNowhere you will see this:

• I wrote almost every weekday.
• I posted at least 1 entry per day, usually more, sometimes posting on both in the same day
• each entry is over 1000 words, on average I think they have  been around 1800-2000 words
• so in 2 weeks, an average of 2 posts a day, 5 days a

…

Even facing “death” can’t slow down my life too much, there is just too much going on, and although I mourn I move and grow and reclaim. At least the attempt at reconnection, rejection, acceptance, and reflection have done one thing for me — I have been able to reclaim one part of my past and reintegrate that shard of who “Pam” was into who “Pam” IS now…

As anyone who might be reading can tell, my writing has flourished in the past few days. It might be shocking to anyone who only knew me in the past 5 or so years to know, but this used to be a daily practice — NaNoWriMo would not have slowed me…