Must focus on good things.

So, since I seem to be prone to lists, you get a list. Enjoy!

Okay… let’s, for a moment, focus on the great gobs of weirdness that are currently surrounding my Yule/Christmas season. That being, my children, age 8 and 5.5, STILL have not begged for items or given me lists or have any real idea of what it is that they want.

What kind of kids do I have?

It’s like they take after me or something. I hate making lists of things that I want people to get me. I hate the idea that you get something for someone at this time of year, when you could do something nice for them at any OTHER time of the year without the pretense. But kids are supposed to want the newest toys and the biggest things and… and… they’re supposed to drive the economy.

OMG, what if MY children are heralds of the downfall of western-US-civilization as we know it?

But… I have managed to get them some things, even though I don’t have a clear idea of what it is that they want:

• -StarWars edition LeapFrog Didj (comes with StarWars Math game for him)
• -PJ’s
• -Monster Maker (from Santa)
• and I still need to find for him: DS video game

• -Pink Didj with Chicksters Math game — but she doesn’t know if she really WANTS a Didj yet, and I don’t know if I should take it back and get her the Tag system and a few games OR the Leapster 2 (which connects to the internet as well and plays all the 6 games she already has)… because no matter WHAT I do it will be the WRONG choice, knowing her
• -PJ’s
• -Easy Bake oven (which she has seen, and which completely BLEW the Santa gift, because that was supposed to have been from Santa)
• -Barbie MP3 player (which was on sale for 50% off, so I can’t take it back)

The problem is trying to be equal with the kids. If I take back the Didj now (if she totally doesn’t want it) and I get the Tag or the Leapster 2 I have to make sure that the games are equal as well. BoyChild has a DS with 11 games, I have requested that STBX buy GirlChild a Pink DS and 1 game of her own… I don’t know how interested she really IS in the DS either, though.

I have asked my mother to look for the Tag wand for me for GirlChild. I will talk to my daughter a bit more and see if she can say for sure if she doesn’t want the Didj (I don’t want to take it back if she wants it, I don’t want to keep it if she would prefer another product)… but I need something for her from “Santa” now… and I have to take SOMETHING back (or leave something behind for her birthday?)

More importantly, once I know what I am giving the kids, I can tell STBX what I got them and he can then pick out complementary gifts (ie, games, books, Easy Bake cake mixes) within his “limited” budget. Whatever he thinks I will get them things they want this year because I had to be so tight last year…

I’m also considering getting something for the new man… Home Depot gift card and a movie? Seems consistent with what he likes.

Co-Workers? Well… coffee gift cards (Starbucks for D and C, Tim Hortons for G)

Got my friend G covered already. Serin might have to wait because the scarf isn’t done yet (but not too long because it isn’t ALLOWED to be “too long”…)…

The rest… I’ll parcel out over time… MyssK I will knit something for, but I’m so behind since I need to start socks for GirlChild and I need to finish the scarf for Serin…

And I know that STBX won’t think of the babysitter or the teachers, so I better get things for them too…

I have overspent already… I will have to really REALLY cut back starting January. I have been very very bad this year (but its okay, because Santa doesn’t come to me anyway) so for the next 3 months starting January I will live on a budget — meal plans, keep the heat down, no magazines, pens or blank books, no extra clothes for myself, no going out to eat (other than the 2 fridays per month suppers with the kids), just no extras until I get things completely under control.

Other than being a bit bad (within my means, mind you) my life is good. I remember that and all is well..

Last night, after a few minor set backs with behavioural issues with my daughter, the three of us managed to get out and go to Wal-Mart after work.

I have to say, doing ANYTHING after work, after I pick them up from the babysitter, is a major production for us. I get off work at 5pm. I then have a 30 minute drive through traffic to pick them up at the babysitter. So, by the time I have all my chicks gathered up and tied down into their car seats, its usually around 5:45pm. A normal evening would consist of me taking the kids directly home, getting BoyChild working on any homework he’s been sent back from school while I make supper and try to clean up around the kitchen or start a load of laundry. I try to make meals that take less than 30 mins to prepare once I get home to reduce the wait time — if things take too long and the kids are hungry there are usually fruits and veggies that can be eaten while we wait (although I have too many “tempting” things right now, and that is a goal for the new year, to reduce the sheer number of snack foods in the house).

We eat around 6pm. After supper the kids have to finish homework (if they have any) or they may choose to watch tv… unless its bath night. If it is bath night, I run a bath, throw GirlChild in and help her with her hair and washing herself, and read to her while she splishes and splashes around. I help her get out, then I run the bath for BoyChild. Thankfully, BoyChild needs (and wants) less supervision than his sister, so usually I leave him in the bubble filled tub with instructions to wash his hair and scrub himself, and a towel beside him on the toilet…

And I wash the dishes.

The dishes are both the bane of my existence as a mother and a brief moment of respite for me in which to relax and just concentrate on one thing. As I don’t have a dishwasher in my suite (and no desire to buy one for my landlords) dishes are a daily event… and since I have such a lack of counterspace I try to do them every evening just before or just after the kids get to bed (I would prefer BEFORE, as then once they are in bed I can have a bath or shower, do the laundry, sweep up, and just sit and relax and knit and chat with friends online for a bit before bed).

Once BoyChild is out of the tub, dressed in jammies, and both have been dried off (and all the clothes and wet towels in the dirty clothes hamper), it is time for them to brush their teeth and settle down while I read to them before bed (by this time it is 7:30pm). I have started reading juvinille fiction to them, rather than short stories, and we have started reading “Inkheart”…I have found that reading a longer story makes it easier for me to read 20 minutes consistently, and gets them used to the idea that stories are not all short with pretty pictures. I also try to get my son to practice reading a bit.

And then… they climb into their beds. I sing them each 2 songs, give them hugs and kisses and out goes the light. At 8pm.

And then I get time to have a shower (or bath, since my shower is broken right now),do a load of laundry, sweep the floors, clean the cat litter, fold laundry, pay bills, wash floors, clean the kitchen, tidy up, and make lunches for the next day before collapsing

So, you see… evenings are rushed as it is.

So when I need to get things (ie, laundry detergent, a few groceries) the main thing that gets cut out of the nightly ritual is meal prep at home (and therefore less dishes), meaning that we eat out. Meaning, of course, added expense and guilt for me.

But… sometimes you have to do what you have to do. If I have to do laundry (and yes, sometimes I do have to do laundry, because no matter how many clothes the kids have in their drawers and suitcases and bags, their MOTHER has very few clothes right now and so I need to remember to do laundry at least once (if not twice) a week)… and I like to have laundry detergent in the house at all times, just because I might need it in an emergency (and, yes, there ARE laundry related emergencies — a bed which is peed, someone pukes on something, they need a particular colour for school).

So… this week I needed laundry detergent, and a few other things that weren’t so critical, but in the I-might-as-well-get-them-while-I-am-at-it list. And, lets be quite honest, I was getting a bit burnt out about trying to rush home and make supper right after a very long day. I know, I know, I could prepare on weekends and have things half done, but I’m lazy (lazier than I want to be) on weekends and I never manage to do it (which is why I never seem to manage to eat supper when I am alone… see… the dating thing was GOOD for me in some ways!).

So… last night we bundled up and ran off to Wal-Mart. I allowed the kids to eat at the McDonald’s there (I can’t stand eating McDonald’s anymore, so I tend to wait and eat at  home after they have gone to bed). We got the required laundry detergent, and the dish sponge and cat food. And then the kids noticed the huge “garden center” area that had been converted to some sort of tacky Christmas (or as my son has started calling it “X-Mas, Mom”) wonderland. And, not having recieved the tree or any of the Christmas things from STBX when I left, we were in dire need of some Xmas type decorations.

And so, being the good mother, I thought I’d let the kids pick out a tree. My concept was that they would pick a nice, normal, moderately sized green tree and we’d collect it out of the tree bin and be on our way.

Nope.

They were totally FASCINATED by the WHITE trees. No amount of showing off the values and properties of any of the nice, normal, tree coloured trees would cut it for them. No. They wanted a nice, moderderately sized, WHITE tree — approximately 6 feet of sparkling WHITE fake tree goodness.

And for the life of me I could NOT figure out a good (or at least pursuasive) argument against the white tree. I mean, they are certainly not MY taste, but I suppose it could have been worse? It could be 8 feet of sparkling tinsel-like sugar-plum PINK… or gothic tinsel BLACK… and it DID kind of look like the tree was covered in hoarfrost.

And I was outvoted anyway.

So we loaded the 6′ WHITE artificial tree into our cart.

And apparently it needed lights to put on it. And so I put my foot down and stated that we could get LED lights, but not regular ones, so they picked out a string of white LED, a string of BLUE LED, and a string of blue and white SNOWFLAKE shaped LED lights. We got a small silver coloured angel to put on the top of the tree… and a green, red and gold wreath of bells to put on the door. I did have to put my foot down about the SpongeBob ornaments, and we managed to escape without even a box of the awful candy canes that they are so terribly fond of (I like the peppermint, but the fruity flavours, root beer, or orange ones are not something I enjoy or which scream “Multi-Traditional-Culturo-Religious-Mid-Winter-Festival” to me), although I have a feeling that these will find a way into my home at some point during the winter season.

And then we managed to escape the consumerism that is Wal-Mart, and head for home.

With our 6′ WHITE tree safely esconsed in our trunk.

Maybe it will be a white Christmas/Yule after all?
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